I’ve had myself worried these past couple of days due to suffering from a complete creative meltdown, wondering what the hell I was thinking going back to doing game reviews after all this time away from the genre.
I really wanted to start the first of my retrospectives talking about my favourite game franchises from past to present, but unfortunately my brain doesn’t seem to be working that way so I’m stuck searching for crap on the internet, that is after all how it all started over 7 years ago, and boy have I dug up a treat for us to kick off a new series of Gaming with Platitude, based on one of my favourite games of all time, the original Resident Evil. So this won’t offend me in the slightest now will it?
Welcome to Super Resident Evil, a demake that recreates the infamous Spencer Mansion incident from 1996 into glorious 16 bit nostalgia riddled excellence.
Well, almost, but I have to give credit where it’s due, the sprite for Chris (minus points for no Jill) looks good and they’ve rendered the music and sound pretty nicely too, the HUD tries its best to be faithful to the original but does end up a little clumsy looking by the time you pick up a few weapons, but as we’re to find out soon, aesthetics are the least of our problems here.
So you jump around like you’re on a trampoline collecting Umbrella tokens, which I assume are what you must get all of in order to beat the game, and it’s a little puzzling that you’d collect little logos of the company that’s trying to get you killed, and the reason you’re having to do all this shit in the first place!
Just like in the real game you meet your first zombie in the hall next to the dining room, unlike the real game however you can just leap over him and progress to the next room, you can even clear TWO zombies if you’re lucky enough, I’m laughing at the thought of a classic Resident Evil game where you can jump at all, let alone higher than the fucking monsters, it’d sure help saving ammo I guess, true survival tactics.
As silly as it looks, the jump is in every stretch of the imagination a better option than using your gun because it takes like 5 hours to kill anything in this game, ANYTHING so by the time you’re finished picking off the first two zombies you’re shit out of ammo and and you’ll actually need it a few rooms later when believe it or not you can’t just jump over all the enemies, I swear to god I emptied TWO WHOLE CLIPS, that’s 30 ROUNDS on the pair of zombies in the room with the moveable crate and one of them was
STILL ALIVE ,or still undead, whatever, and the Cerberus takes just as many rounds as a zombie if not more, so already we’re in serious jeopardy in terms of faithfulness to the original Resident Evil. I know, how sad am I?
Something that kind of helps is that if you stand still as soon as you enter a room, the enemies won’t come near you, they just sort of weave back and forth in an erratic pattern, except for the Cerberus, he’s a dick, speaking of the Cerberus, they were a pretty frightening foe, especially when they smashed through the window creating one of the most memorable jumpscares in gaming history, well just take a look at how scary it is here…
I wouldn’t say the game was hard, but it’s very easy to misplace a jump and get sandwiched between monsters and when that happens it takes about 2 seconds to drain your life from full, you also seem to be gravitate toward the enemy sprites at some points, like there was one time I obviously cleared the two zombies in the dining hall but instead I got pulled back into their arms and died instantly, what did they jump up and catch me in mid air?! What a load of absolute BOLLOCKS!
I wouldn’t mind so much if dying wasn’t such a fucking chore, there’s no way to reset the game from the death screen I’ve tried every key imaginable but no, nothing, I have to refresh the entire page all over again, this may seem like a minor complaint but when you die frequently and have to reload the page just to try again it can get VERY annoying.
Eventually I end up just bouncing and blagging my way through to victory which happens to be after you clear the staircase room, there’s no boss, and thank god for that I’d probably still be shooting him in frigging August. I don’t even think I got all of the tokens but that doesn’t seem to matter anyway, so all those deaths from trying to collect them all were for absolutely nothing, but why did I spend so much time on this anyway?!
To summarise, it’s an effort to say the least, the creator himself states that it’s just a prototype, which would explain how short it is, but it’s obvious a lot of work needs to be done to make it in any way a good game, making the enemies a little less overpowered and more intelligent, as well as fixing the death screen restart thing would at least make it tolerable for a 5 minute time waster.
Unfortunately this prototype came out in 2013 and nothing else has been seen since, it’s a shame because the designer probably had a good idea of what he wanted to do and was obviously knowledgeable in the field of… wait a minute I’ve just noticed…
Forget it, the whole thing sucks.